The distress flares have been fired, but the rescue boat isn’t coming. I will float aimlessly until my eyes and arms grow heavy and tired. Then my brain and lungs will trade oxygen for water and they’ll think they got a bargain. They welcome the inevitable. My heart is the only one in denial, but isn’t that always the case? I have been emotionally amputated. The parts needed in order to be a healthy human being have been cut off. Now I stumble through the days dead inside. Of course, I smile and laugh and put on a show, but there is nothing of substance left anymore. There was a time when I thought the future was something worth waiting to see, but I am my own worst enemy. Now I realize that the future will only bring more poor choices and missed opportunities. This cycle of untreated depression and self-fulfilling prophecies will see to that. Ambition will never have a home anywhere inside of me. I lack both the energy and the basic desire to enact any sort of change. It hurts to know that I am the only one who can help me, yet i am incapable of doing so. It is like trying to wake someone from a coma. I know I am in there somewhere. I just can’t reach myself no matter how loudly I scream.