Monthly Archives: December 2004

paperweight

My heart is just a paperweight
that rests upon these memories of you
Your face has stained my walls of thought
and it’s not going anywhere
For you were woven into who I am
and the holes you left just bleed right through
So empty bottles fill my empty hands
in hopes of making me think that I’m okay.
but I need you so much, it hurts
Yeah, I need you so much, it hurts

crocodile

Broken down, rusted
and rotting in the rain
This machine that was our love
no longer bears our names
The sky, so gray and somber
is welcome to my eyes
as my heart is decomposing
beneath a swarm of flies
Now the light of day is fading
like pictures of your face
and vows we exchanged in quicksand
are forgotten and erased
but I can still feel you inside me
where the emptiness resides
You are dragging me to deeper water
and eating me alive

(insert image of crocodile with wildebeast’s throat in its jaws)

Anna

You are pale and unpredictable, a moth, if you will. The boys try to shine as bright as they can to attract your attention. You will flutter and flail around them, and each one will feel special in your presence, but to you, they are temporary warmth and solace from the darkness and nothing more. No single one will keep you forever. You will fly on without hesitation, barely remembering the slightest details about them. They, on the other hand, will always burn bright in the darkness just for you. Hoping for your return, they will ignore the odds and fight back the tears as they cry your name.
 
 
 
 
 
 

cheaters

Sometimes, people chastize me for being too “afraid” to give anyone a chance. Are you crazy? Fear will keep you safe. Fear will keep you smart. Fear will prevent you from handing your heart over to someone who will invariably break it. I do not believe in silly notions such as fate and destiny. I believe in statistical probability. If it ends up the same way time after time after time after time after time after time, you have to use common sense eventually. I mean, insanity can be defined as doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.

 

People cheat. Most of us cheat. The only ones who haven’t cheated  probably never had the right bait dangled in front of them. We are all selfish. We all value ourselves and what we want above anything else. Naturally, all cheaters are selfish, but some are even more selfish than others. I mean, if you cheat, take it to the grave with you. It makes sense, no? You’ve already done it. Eat the guilt. Where was your conscience when you were participating in the extra curricular activity? All of a sudden you have decided to become a decent person? Bullshit. Yet, there are some people who will confess everything. It is either a selfish attempt to rid themselves of the guilt, or the selfish desire to somehow have their actions validated and forgiven by their lover. It is selfish at any rate. The trust will never be mended, and everything will come crashing down. It is best to deny it to the death. You are sparing them the pain of knowing the truth. As much as they claim to want the truth, they don’t. We only want the truth when it doesn’t hurt.

 

“I may be an asshole, but I’m not a fucking asshole.”

 

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